Time to Get REAL! Is It Hard for You to Say No?

It is for me sometimes. In fact, 2012 has started with some real tough lessons for me, including what happens when life burn-out hits you front and center. With my health and energy levels at an all time low, I discovered I had been over-giving, over-working, and over-yes-ing. That means saying yes to more than I really wanted to say yes to, and giving more time and importance to what others want and need.

Author and Coach Cheryl Richardson talks about only saying yes to her ‘absolute yes’ list. Similar to the message we share in our Get Up Girl 9 Week program, she suggests putting our self-care above anything else—say no unless it's an absolute yes. The goal is to spend our time and energy on things that bring us joy and make decisions based on what we want instead of what others want. When we don't set boundaries and take care of ourselves, our health and well-being are at stake.

It might sound selfish to some (I know I have that voice in my head at times from past limiting beliefs), but how well can we really take care of others if we are constantly feeling depleted and running on empty? Not only will our health and well-being be affected, but it also becomes more difficult to experience true happiness and fulfillment.

So let’s get real. What is YOUR ABSOLUTE YES LIST?
Here are a few questions inspired by Cheryl Richardson.

Ask yourself:

1. What needs your attention at this time in your life?

2. Think in terms of the next 3 months, not the next year. What needs your attention: Your marriage, financial, health, your physical and emotional heath? Maybe you need to find a babysitter to care for your child so you can have time for yourself each week. What are the most pressing areas right now?

More examples: Spiritual well-being, time with friends, school, work,
volunteering, finances, household chores, home repair, etc.

3. Once you've made your list above, pick the top five priorities.

Does your list need to be reordered?

Cheryl recommends placing yourself at Number 1. Placing yourself at the top may be hard, but ask yourself, "How am I going to take care of others if I am burnt out?" Remember, this is about you. This Is Your Absolute Yes List.

Daily Reminder:  Once your list is complete, print it out and place it where you will see it throughout the day—the bathroom mirror, the dashboard of your car, your computer monitor, etc. This will assist you in staying on track with your list.

by Margalit Ward

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20 Ways to Say Thank You to Anyone, Including Yourself

by Margalit Ward

Tis the season to be thankful. With Thanksgiving behind us, and the December holiday season upon us, it got me thinking about all the ways we can appreciate the many people in our lives, including ourselves.

Here are 20 Ways to Say Thank You to Anyone, Including Yourself:

1. Smile… at a stranger, a friend, someone you love.

2. Draw a picture with a kind word, quote or phrase.

3. Cook dinner for a friend that doesn't get to enjoy home cooked meals very often.

4. Mail a hand-written thank you note to someone you appreciate.  (I know this is sooo last century!)

5. Sing a song when it's least expected. (serenading is a lost art)

6. Bake cookies for your local firehouse.

7. Write a poem or limerick for a child in your life.

8. Write a list of 10 things you appreciate about a person, and share it with them.

9. Hugs! Who doesn't like a hug?

10. Leave a note of thanks for your postal worker for delivering your mail everyday rain or shine.

11. Let the manager know how well your favorite waiter, sales person, or customer service person helped you.

12. Write 10 things you appreciate about yourself, and post it where you will see it everyday for a month.

13. Send a fun postcard to someone you haven't seen in a long time.

14. Send a letter or email of appreciation to any teachers that made a difference in your life.

15. Leave a colorful and thankful note for a waiter who gave you excellent service.

16. Send flowers to your mother on YOUR birthday. (yeah, she's the one that made it all happen)

17. Decorate your dinner table with some extra special touches of love & creativity. Ideas: colorful & personal notes, flowers, candles, special table cloth & table settings, tree lights, crystals, etc.

18. Pick or buy flowers for your next door neighbors & leave with a note thanking them for being a wonderful neighbor.

19. Save a dollar a day for a month, and then treat yourself to a movie and ice cream (or whatever you like).

20. Look at yourself in the mirror, into your beautiful eyes, and let yourself know how much you appreciate the gift and blessing that you are.


With every gesture of kindness and gratitude, we are lifted, blessed and transported to a place where our hearts are naturally joyful. As Mother Teresa has said, 'Gratitude is the Mother of Joy.' Yes it's true, it's hard to be grumpy when we feel grateful. Instead, we focus on what's right in our lives. So jump in, feel the love, the joy, and the gift of being thankful.

We invite you to share with us your ideas of other ways of saying 'thank you', and what your experience is with sharing your gratitude with yourself and others.

Wishing you much Joy!

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20 Books to Inspire You

What happens when you invite 23 dynamic women, each with their own unique story, to share with each other about what has inspired them in their lives? In addition to having fun, you find yourself feeling uplifted, touched, and inspired by the beauty and strength of these amazing women.

A couple of weeks ago Get Up Girl hosted an evening called, ‘Inspire, Network and Swap Books’. The women attending arrived with three things: 1- Ready to share a short story or a few sentences about what or who inspired them in their life, 2- A yummy treat to share with the group, and 3- An inspirational book to swap with others.

The evening’s theme obviously touched a chord! The October event was sold out, and we had to start a waiting list. I think it’s safe to say, people love to be inspired, to read, and of course, to eat! We enjoyed mingling, snacking and getting to know each other, before circling up to share our stories and a great variety books.

Below is the list of books the women exchanged at our event (all linked to Amazon). The list includes everything from non-fiction, self-help, to some wonderful memoirs and fiction. If you have books that inspired you, we would love to know the titles and authors. We will start another list of books from your comments and emails. We thank you for your suggestions. Enjoy!

20 Inspiring Books:

1. 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life -David Ricklan

2.  A Big Little Life: A Memoir of a Joyful Dog - Dean Koontz

3.  Creative Visualization - Shakti Gawain

4.  Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker - Marla Martenson

5.  Eat Pray Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

6.  Excuses Begone! - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

7.  Gods and Goddesses in Love - Agapi Stassinopoulos

8.  Handbook for the Heart - Richard Carlson

9.  How Starbucks Saved My Life - Michael Gates Gill

10. If You Have to Cry, Go Outside:

And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You - Kelly Cutrone

11. Letters to a Young Poet - Rainer Maria Rilke

12. Now is the Time - Patrick Lindsay

13. The Help - Kathryn Stockett

14. The Man Who Planted Trees - Jean Giono

15. The Mastery of Love  - Don Miguel Ruiz

16. The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

17. The Story of You - Steve Chandler

18. Seinlanguage - Jerry Seinfeld

19. Think and Grow Rich - Napolian Hill

20. Your Best Year Yet - Jinny S. Ditzler

If you would like to be invited to a future Get Up Girl event, you can connect with us a few ways. Subscribe to our Newsletter, follow us on Facebook, or join our Get Up Girl Meetup Group. We look forward to seeing you!

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The Comparison Trap

by Leo Babauta of zenhabits

I love reading about other people’s work setups, I really do. It’s one of my guilty pleasures.

I’ll read about another blogger’s computer setup, or what kind of notebook and pen he uses, or how he works standing up or on a treadmill or while doing handstand pushups and growing a vegetable garden.

And when I read about some cool setup someone else has, some cool new way of working, I inevitably want to try it. I’m only human.

You’ve done this too, probably. You might read a review of some new software that will help you create, or a new fashion style or some cool shoes or beautiful furniture or the newest iPad, or the latest iPhone app. Or maybe you’re a minimalist and read someone’s barefoot running article, or how they’re living out of a backpack, and want to try that.

It’s a trap.

We’re endlessly looking at how others do things, for inspiration and ideas … but we end up wanting to try those things too. That sounds harmless until you realize that you’ll buy almost anything because someone wrote about it and made it sound amazing. You’ll live a life of an endless series of purchases because of what other people are doing. And it never ends.

Even if you don’t buy stuff, you’ll change your life endlessly, based on what others are doing. You’ll give up your couch, you’ll stop buying Ikea furniture, then give up your cell phone, then give up your computer, then start doing yoga, then become a Zen monk, then create a tech startup. Those things are amazing, sure … but when does it ever end?

When do we ever feel content with the life we’re living?

If you look to the lives of others,

you’ll always find yourself lacking.

Look instead at what you have,

and be grateful.

Reduce your needs,

and be content.

And your life of striving

for perfection, for the future,

will become a life of balance,

of the moment, of inner peace.

For more articles by zen habits, go to: zenhabits.net

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The Wisdom of Steve Jobs

I read this quote by Apple's Co-Founder and visionary, Steve Jobs this week and found it very inspiring, so I decided to make it this week's Get Up Girl blog post.

Enjoy!



"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
-Steve Jobs

It reminds me to take time to listen inside to what truly moves, inspires and lifts me. To pay attention to the little nudges and whispers within. And to keep asking myself, "Am I being true to what my heart and intuition is guiding me to do?" Plus, this man is a living demonstration of expressing creativity and innovation.

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6 Tips To Bounce Back From Overwhelm

6 Tips To Bounce Back From Overwhelm
by Lisa Peake, M.A.

Get Up Girl and productivity pro, Lisa Peake of Peake Productivity, shares with us about how to support ourselves when we're experiencing overwhelm.

I work with a lot of busy women. Each one is doing her best to be a good daughter, friend, wife, sister, mother, and brings a high level of care and investment to her work. The good news is that studies show that wearing these varied roles benefits us: when one area of life becomes challenging, we resource self-esteem and encouragement from other sources. We are more robust because we care about and participate in many different areas.

But what happens when all of these areas demand a lot of your time and focus, leaving little left over for you?

That’s when I remind my clients (and myself) that we women must give to ourselves first before we can give of the overflow. If you’re feeling depleted or overwhelmed, here are 6 tips to restore yourself to productivity relaxed focus:

1. Appreciate yourself and your partner.
Start with yourself, and start simple. Write down 3-5 things you appreciate about yourself at the end of the day. Make sure to include qualities about yourself as well as accomplishments. Then turn to your spouse, best friend, or business partner and share the love. A major source of emotional nourishment comes from feeling appreciated, and you’re the best person to start this trend in your own life. I have all of my clients appreciate themselves at the end of each week as part of their Weekly Review.

2. Take a sabbath day.
It was Rachel Naomi Remen who inspired me to block out a day of rest on my calendar every week. Commit to it! Usually a weekend works best for most people. For the entire day: no chores, no errands, keep cooking simple and nourishing, or ask a loved one to take over. Hire a babysitter if needed. Make it a day to play, pray, rest, nap, primp, gab, meditate, and receive support from the ones you love. Resting in this way allows your mind time to incubate creative ideas. All of the brilliant artists, writers and musicians take time away from their creations to percolate. Take time away from whatever it is that you produce, and recharge.

3. Know when to quit.
When you’re tired, sleepy or “braindead”, your most productive next action is rest. This may sound elementary, but in fact it takes conscious awareness to know when to stop (work, play, chores, etc.) Practice checking in with yourself to find out when you need to stop what you’re doing, or take a break. This can also mean know when to quit dwelling on negative thoughts. By redirecting yourself to something more nurturing or uplifting, you have an opportunity to recreate your day.

4. Don’t confuse sneaky indulgences with true self-nurturing.
A pint of Hagen Daas is probably not true self-nurturing, especially if it leaves you feeling guilty. Recognize those times when you want to “slip up” - that is, any time a convenient justification pops in like, “I deserve this because...” Take that as a sign that you need more true self-nurturing. True self-nurturing creates space for greater awareness, false nurturing pushes aside unpleasant thoughts or emotions. The productive choice is to honor what’s present now, and be kind to yourself as you go through it. There is no going around it, anyway. “The best way out is always through.” -Robert Frost

5. Forgive the day.
Forgive yourself, the people in your day, the situations in your life. Forgive it all. This way, when your head hits the pillow, you go free. You can do this in a simple way by saying, “I forgive myself for judging anyone or anything I judged today.” Do what is necessary to bring yourself into peace, and your night time rest will be more rejuvenating.

6. Set a bedtime intention to get deep rejuvenating rest.
Write in your journal what kind of sleep you want to receive, or just say your intention inwardly. You can include an intention to have meaningful dreams, and to wake up feeling refreshed. This is a simple one to try out and test the results for yourself. It takes less than 30 seconds per day. We all need to make time for ourselves in a conscious caring way. When we don’t, we find ourselves depleted and wondering what happened. It takes some effort to stay rested in a busy world, but if you make these tools and others an important part of your daily and weekly routine, you may find that you bounce back from those occasional moments of overwhelm a lot faster.

To find out more about Lisa's work and how she supports her clients with greater productivity, go to: peakeproductivity.com

Ode to Joy!

Article & photos by Margalit Ward

What can I say, I just couldn't help myself.

With the launch of our new Balancing Motherhood women's group this week, (what a wonderful group of powerful, committed and inspiring women. Wow!) and this beautiful spring like morning in sunny LA, my heart was bursting with gratitude and joy for all the blessings in my life and I wanted to share some of it with you.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes about the JOY of life!

"Joy is not in things, it is in us." -Richard Wagner

"Ecstasy is a full, deep involvement in life." –John Lowel

"It is astonishing how short a time it takes for very wonderful things to happen." –Frances Hodgson Burnett

"Joy delights in Joy." –William Shakespeare

"I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful." –Unknown

"To love what you do and feel that it matters –how could anything be more fun?" –Katherine Graham

"Enjoying those things for which we were presumably designed in the first place... the opportunity to do good work, to fall in love, to enjoy friends, to sit under trees, to read, to hit a ball, to bounce a baby." –Alistair Cooke

"Love many things." –Vincent Van Gogh

"Joy is increased by spreading it to others." –Robert Murray

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our soul blossom." –Marcel Proust


Making a clear intention of experiencing greater happiness and joy, or any other quality, is the first step in creating more of it. Choose to create joy in your life today. Laugh. Play. Breath. Enjoy this moment. Reach out to others, and do the things you love. Your happiness today is the gift you can give to yourself. Enjoy!

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Do you love your business? And does your business love you back?

Article & Photo by Jennifer Lee

Do you love your business? Or if you work for someone else, do you love your job? I mean really, really love it?

We spend so much of our time working, why not be absolutely head over heels in love with what you do for a living?

5 ways to fall in love with your business all over again:

Focus on your passion.
Are you spending most of your day on the work that lights you up or on tasks that you loathe? What do you need to say no to so you can say yes to the things that make your heart sing?

Find ways to bring fun and joy into your work.
What are some small things that bring a smile to your face? Is it using fun colored markers or post-its? Is it being barefoot? Is it getting to try something new?

Work with people you love.
When you surround yourself with good peeps, you’re bound to feel good. Who are your perfect customers? The ones who light you up when you work with them and you know you’re helping them in the best possible way. Who are your perfect partners and creative cohorts? The ones who you know you can count on, delivery quality, and appreciate your relationship.

Invest in yourself and in your business.
Is there a new skill you want to learn that will give you an edge? Are there events you know will give you tons of exposure or tools you know will help you create your next great product? Be willing to spend money on things you know will help grow your business in the long run.

Show yourself some love.
How can you take better care of yourself? When you’re healthy and happy, everything just seems to flow more easily. Instead of working yourself to the bone, make sure to take gentle breaks, celebrate your successes, and practice compassion toward yourself and others.

Pick one or two things to play with this week and see what that sparks for you and your work. When you love your business, your business loves ya right back.

If you long to have a more fun and fulfilling relationship with your business or you just want to turn up the heat on your professional passion meter, then please join me for a fabulous and informative event that will make your creative heart flutter – the first-ever Right-Brainers in Business Video Summit.

To find out more about Jennifer Lee, and her Right Brain Business Plan, visit Artizen Coaching®

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5 Tips for Healing with Patience & Love

by Margalit Ward

The past couple of months have been an interesting combination of work, holiday celebrations, and laying in bed sick with pneumonia. Yes, this is why you have not seen a recent post from me in quite some time. During December and parts of January, I had the opportunity to re-look at how I was taking care of myself during the busy holiday season, while balancing the projects I had set in motion. It was also an opportunity for me to remember how to make adjustments when life's challenges can force you to slow down... I mean STOP everything.

I thought it would be helpful to share some of the ways I re-remembered to take care of myself when hit by a healing crisis (I finally had to admit that pneumonia is not like a cold, or even the flu, it's a kick in the ass, get your butt in bed situation).

Simplify
Keep life simple. Don't add extra commitments, phone calls, tasks, appointments, etc. to your day, even when you just begin to feel better. My main focus for December was, rest, sleep, drink water and soup, and... more sleep (oh yeah, and catching up on Project Runway episodes). Pretty simple. When the holidays arrived, I only focused on one goal, enjoy the time with my family. I didn't try to send out the usual holiday cards to all my friends and family, attend numerous parties, or plan a trip. I kept life simple and I enjoyed a beautiful & peaceful holiday.

Let Go
Similar to keeping things simple, but taking it another step, try letting go of any attachments to HOW things get done. I don't know about you, but I can sometimes be a bit of a perfectionist. Wanting things to be and look a certain way, and if not, then I would feel dissatisfied or annoyed. It's very freeing and refreshing to let that go. Maybe for a couple of weeks it's okay to let the house get a little messy, the garden a little unruly, and your closet a little cluttered. (I think I heard a gasp!) Give yourself some space to relax and be flexible with how things unfold. Feeling relaxed and letting go of some of your daily responsibilities can assist in your healing.

Ask for Support
Give yourself permission to ask others for support you when you're not feeling well. You can ask your spouse, sister, friend, neighbor, child or a parent to please lend a hand during your time of healing. Ask them to make you soup, pick up your medication, rub your feet, etc., whatever makes you feel cared for and nurtured, and is something that they can do. (Do remember your 'please' and 'thank you's') This gives you more time to rest, and allows others to care for you, which can be a gift to the people in your life more than you know. It's an opportunity to receive from others the care and attention you deserve when you're sick.

Love Love Love Yourself
Since you're not as busy while you're resting, you have a lot of time to remind yourself how wonderful you are. Once your fever breaks, grab that dusty journal and take some time to write about what you've been learning lately. Or use it as a place to write what you appreciate about yourself, your life and the people you love. Write a love letter to yourself, and mail it to you. Create some new affirmations about how you are taking great care of yourself, your body, mind, emotions and spirit. Affirm that you are loved and cared for. Take baths, read books you love, do relaxing and nurturing things for yourself. I think you get the picture. Love and nurture you... you deserve it, now more than ever.

Gratitude
Focus on what's wonderful in your life. No matter how sick you're feeling, thinking about what you're grateful for can lift your spirits and create an attitude that is supportive to your healing process. Add writing about what you're grateful for to your journal each day, even if it's just one thing. Create a new gratitude ritual, such as; keeping a gratitude rock in your pocket or purse to remind you to focus on gratitude; once a week share gratitude with at least one other person; or google gratitude quotes on the internet, and start a list of your favorites. However you choose to focus on gratitude, doing so will generate a greater sense of well-being and loving energy.

Being sick is never fun, but I believe it gives us the opportunity to stop and reflect on what is and isn't working in our life; to make adjustments in how we spend our time and focus our energy; and to listen to ourselves in a greater way. Our bodies are wise and if we pay attention, more deeply, patiently and lovingly, we will hear what truly nourishes us.

Top Ten Takeaways From SHINE 2010

Branding and marketing expert, Liz Dennery Sanders, shares highlights and words of business wisdom from her experience at Ali Brown's Annual Shine Conference for female entrepreneurs.

Top Ten Takeaways From SHINE 2010
by Liz Dennery Sanders

From the amazing networking, to the main stage and breakout sessions, there were many excellent nuggets of wisdom to be had at Ali Brown’s SHINE 2010. Here were the ten that most stood out to me:

1. Decide why you are in business. In other words, what’s your WHY? Is it money, lifestyle, fame, giving back, helping others or perhaps a combination of reasons? Whatever it is, you’re more likely to stay in it for the long haul if you’re connected to your bigger WHY.

2. Evaluate where you are in your business and make your decisions from there. If you’re just starting out, you need to focus on different things than if you’re already established with a full practice. When you’re still building your foundation, it’s important not to get swayed by “bright, shiny object” syndrome. Focus on the basic building blocks before you move on to more advanced strategies. Honor the process and exactly where you are.

3. If you want to be successful you’ve got to get the money handled. You don’t have to be a CPA, but you need to know exactly how much money is coming in and out of your business every single month. You’ve got to track your expenses and be able to read a profit and loss statement. Why would the universe give you more if you can’t take care of what you’ve already got?

4. Take action. You can talk and strategize all day long, but if you don’t actually implement, you will never be successful. Money loves momentum.

5. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You’ve got to be willing to put yourself in new situations – some of which might make you feel rather uncomfortable at first. Yet that feeling of discomfort is a signal that you’re growing and probably moving to the next level in your business. Be willing to take chances and try something new.

6. Create systems. The most successful entrepreneurs learn how to delegate those tasks that aren’t the best use of their time and genius. They do this by creating systems – financial, client services, operations, etc. – that others can use and implement over time. Start small and select one area of your business to focus on at a time. Write down each step and the exact process (saving emails and templates along the way) and save in a computer or hard copy file so that your team can access at a later date.

7. Branding isn’t optional (yes, I’ve been talking about this for a long time, but it’s worth repeating!) If you don’t craft and create your own powerful personal brand, someone else will do it for you. Your brand is a living, breathing organism that needs nurturing and constant care. Tell your story and show up.

8. Don’t feed the trolls. The more successful you become, the more likely you are to receive criticism. Learn to discern the constructive from the crap. Respect and listen to the former and ignore the latter. Life’s too short to be in a constant state of negative reactivity.

9. Be authentic. Your potential clients want the real you. Use your own voice. Life is full of copies, so dare to be an original. You’ll find that you are able to more easily connect and engage with others when you are coming from a sincere, authentic place.

10. It’s how you make people FEEL that leads them to buy (or not.) Emotions are the cue that makes the brain sit up and take notice. Appeal to your clients’ emotions, find out what’s most important to them and deliver THAT, over and over again. Be an excellent listener, show them how much you care and add value to their lives. You’ll never have to worry about your rent check again.

©Liz Dennery Sanders 2010

Liz Dennery Sanders wants you to build your buzz and be successful beyond your wildest dreams. As the CEO of Dennery Marks Inc., a brand development and celebrity outreach firm, she founded SheBrand, to help female entrepreneurs build powerful personal brands, attract more clients and position themselves as experts in their industries. You can reach her directly at info@shebrand.com or www.shebrand.com.

It's No TRICK, Six Ways to TREAT Yourself with Love

As the holiday season kicks off with Halloween, it's easy to get caught up in the hectic pace of parties, shopping and trying to fit more than we can handle into a single day. Often in the middle of the mayhem, our healthy habits and nurturing self care gets tossed to the wind. Here are some suggestions to stay on track with treating yourself with love.

1. Breath
Breathing is essential for life and restoring your body's energy. However, when you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed you tend to take short shallow breaths which causes the body to become even more stressed and tired. I invite you right now to try something. Take a moment to pause and take a deep slow breath in through your nose, and gently exhale through your mouth. Do it two more times. Notice how you're feeling. Are you feeling more relaxed? Are you more aware of your body? Taking time through out the day to stop and breath, is a great way to recharge your energy, refocus your mind and connect with yourself.

"For breath is life, and if you breathe well you will live long on earth." –Sanskrit Proverb

2. Be Patient
Do you ever find yourself wishing you could do something quicker, learn something faster, or reach your goals right this minute? Insisting on quick results or having unrealistic expectations puts unnecessary pressure on yourself and only creates stress and overwhelm. This limits how well you function and depletes your energy. Life, learning and growth is a process, not an event. Like a child learning to walk or talk, it happens over time, and is usually celebrated. Love, accept and celebrate your life and trust in it's natural flow and timing.

"If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent." –Sir Isaac Newton

3. Schedule a date night with yourself
Inspired by one of our Get Up Girl grads, I love this idea for making time to nurture and pamper yourself. Do those things that you rarely have time for, but truly enjoy! You could take a luxurious bubble bath, listen to music you love, put on that cozy robe and curl up with a great book, or rent your favorite movie and order take-out. Whatever you choose to do, schedule your date night with yourself in your calendar and enjoy a special evening with you!

"I restore myself when I'm alone." –Marilyn Monroe

4. Say NO
I don't know about you, but sometimes it's hard for me to say 'no'. I like being supportive and pleasing others, but over the years I've learned that saying 'yes' when I really want to say 'no', is a way I dishonor myself. Take time to check in with yourself and what your heart is really telling you before saying 'yes' to the people and the many requests in your life.

"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please." –Mohatma Ghandi

5. Be Playful
You were born to play. Playing is instinctive and fundamental to human existence. Easily forgotten as an adult, engaging in playful activities nurtures you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Playing is good for the brain and can support you feeling light, relaxed and engaged in life. Whether you enjoy a good game of Monopoly, doing arts and crafts, or playing tennis, make time to play and enjoy some serious fun!

"What do most Nobel Laureates, innovative entrepreneurs, artists and performers, well-adjusted children, happy couples and families, and the most successfully adapted mammals have in common? They play enthusiastically throughout their lives." –Stuart Brown

6. Do less
In this fast paced, over scheduled, multi-tasking, social networking world, daily life can sometimes feel very busy, but not necessarily fulfilling or meaningful. One solution is choosing to do less. Often by doing less, the quality of your efforts increases. The reason is your energy isn't split or spread to thin. You're able to focus your attention and energy at a higher level, which also increases how satisfied you feel. Doing less also translates to less stress and greater peace of mind.

"Being selective, doing less –is the path of the productive. Focus on the important few and ignore the rest." –Timothy Ferris

by Margalit Ward

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How To Create a Successful Mind-Set

by Margalit Ward

What is the mind-set for creating what you want? Is it just having a positive attitude? Reading the right books? Listening to inspirational teachers? These things do help, however there is more to creating success in your life that many happy and fulfilled people have in common. How can you take charge of your life and success? Below are four keys to remember when asking that all important question?

1. You are responsible for our own happiness & success.
Start with knowing you have the power, energy and ability to be responsible for everything in your life. Taking responsibility is the starting point for personal growth and empowering yourself. It is choosing to look inside and realizing that if you want the world around you to get better, you have to make changes within yourself first.

2. You have all the answers inside of you.
Trust your inner knowing by taking the time listen to your own insight, wisdom and guidance. Use helpful techniques that support cultivating a dialog with yourself. Such as, journal writing, meditation, walks in nature, etc. Find what works for you.

3. Use everything in your life as an opportunity to grow and uplift yourself.
Many of you have had the experience that even the most challenging times in your lives have been a time of growth and learning. Each experience has the potential to bring forward a blessing, when we choose to find it. "The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak, became a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong". ~Thomas Carlyle

4. Take good care of yourself, physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually.
When you fill your own cup with self-care first, you have more energy, creativity and the ability to give from your overflow. Below are some suggestions on how you can take care of yourself on all four levels. Find what works best for you and create your own self-care routine.

Physically: Take care of your body, with healthy nutrition, exercise and plenty of rest. Clear your space in your home environment and create and nurturing environment for yourself.

Emotionally: Speak kindly to yourself, appreciate & acknowledge yourself often.

Mentally: Be mindful of your thoughts and where you’re placing your attention. Read interesting and positive material that nourishes your mind and deepens your understanding of yourself and the world.

Spiritually: Make time for being quiet (meditation, walks, listening to inspiring music, recharging yourself, etc.)

You can't always control what happens in your life, but you can choose how you respond. This is where your power lies, in choosing your attitude and doing more of what works for you and less of what doesn't. So girlfriend, remember you have the power to make positive changes, trust your inner knowing, be open to seeing the blessings in your life, and take really good care of you. You deserve it!

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Simplify, and Savor Life

by, Leo Babauta at Zen Habits

Photo by: Margalit Ward

These days we have an abundance of luxuries, but I've found that excess actually decreases my enjoyment of life.

Sure, we can get massive amounts of rich foods, feasting to our heart’s content, stuffing ourselves in alarming displays of gluttony … but is that really enjoyable on a regular basis?

And yes, television can be fun, and so can ridiculously large parts of the Internet, but if it’s always on, if we’re always connected, doesn’t that lower the fun factor?

Excesses lead to all kinds of problems, but the biggest problem is that life is less enjoyable.

I’ve been finding that simplifying things means I can savor life more fully.

Savoring life starts with a mindset. It’s a mindset that believes that excess, that rushing, that busy-ness, that distractedness, isn’t ideal. It’s a mindset that tries instead to:

• simplify
• do & consume less
• slow down
• be mindful & present
• savor things fully

It’s the little things that make life enjoyable: a walk with a loved one, a delicious book, a chilled plum, a newly blooming tree.

And by simplifying, we can savor life to the fullest.

Some ideas I’ve been considering lately:

1. Coffee: Instead of ordering a latte, mocha, cappuccino with whipped cream and cinnamon and shavings … simplify. Just get pure, good coffee (or espresso), brewed fresh with care and precision, with quality beans, freshly roasted. Make it yourself if you can. Drink it slowly, with little or nothing added, and enjoy it thoroughly.

2. Tea: I recently had tea with Jesse Jacobs, the owner of Samovar Tea Lounge, and he poured two different teas from tiny tea pots: Nishi Sencha 1st Flush and Bai Hao Oolong tea. It was fresh, hand-made tea from real leaves, not a tea bag, and it was simply delicious. Drink it slowly, with your eyes closed, fully appreciating the aroma … wonderful.

3. Workouts: I’ve been a fan of simpler workouts recently. While others might spend an hour to 90 minutes in the gym, going through a series of 10 different exercises, I just do 1-3 functional exercises, but with intensity. So I might do some sprint intervals, or a few rounds of pushups, pullups, and bodyweight squats. Or 400 meters of walking lunges. Let me tell you, that’s a simple but incredible workout. Another I like: five rounds 85-lb. squat thrusters (10 reps) alternated with pushups (10 reps). Today’s workout was three rounds of 15 burpees and 800-meter runs. No rest unless you need it. These are great workouts, but very simple, and very tough. I love them.

4. Sweets: I used to be a sugar addict. Now I still enjoy an occasional dessert, but in tiny portions, eaten very slowly. What I enjoy even more, though, is cold fruit. A chilled peach, some blueberries, a few strawberries, a plum: eat it one bite at a time, close your eyes with each bite, and enjoy to the fullest. So good.

5. Meals: While the trend these days is super-sized meals of greasy, fried things (more than two people need to eat actually), I have been enjoying smaller meals of simplicity. Just a few ingredients, fresh, whole, unprocessed, without chemicals or sauces. My meals usually include: a breakfast of steel-cut oats (cooked) with cinnamon, almonds, and berries; a lunch of yogurt, nuts, and fruit; a dinner of beans or tofu with quinoa and steamed veggies (or sauteed with garlic and olive oil). These simple meals are better because not only are they healthy, each ingredient can be tasted, its flavor fully enjoyed.

6. Reading: While the Internet is chock full of things to read, I’ve been enjoying the simplicity of a paper book, borrowed from the library or a friend (borrowing/sharing reduces natural resources consumed). When I read online, I read a single article at a time, using either the Readability or Clippable bookmarklet to remove distrations, and in full-screen mode in the Chrome browser (hit Cmd-Shift-F on the Mac version or F11 in Windows). It’s pure reading, no distractions, and lovely.

Read more about simplicity in Leo’s books, The Zen Habits Handbook for Life & The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life. More here.

Congratulations Shannon!

Congratulations to Shannon on completing her Masters in Spiritual Psychology from the prestigious University of Santa Monica this summer!

The two year program culminated with a beautiful and inspiring graduation ceremony held at Royce Hall at the University of California Los Angeles. Shannon's family was in attendance, including her parents traveling from Vermont, two sisters, her five year old daughter, and her brother who is studying acupuncture in Hawaii. We were all treated to an enthusiastic commencement speech by the exuberant, funny and profound Iyanla Vanzant, sharing her message of 'Taking it to the Streets'.

It was a day of joyful celebration!


Love and blessings to you Shannon as you continue on your path, opening your heart and mind to many new and beautiful adventures of your life's journey!

How Do I Love Me?

Let me count the ways…

1. Make time for activities I enjoy

2. Surround myself with positive and supportive people

3. Spend time in nature

4. Listen to my feelings with compassion and understanding

5. Sing in the shower

6. Cook delicious and healthy food that nourishes my body

7. Listen and honor my intuition
   

8. Spend time with people I love

9. Rest my body when I’m tired

10. Dance in my kitchen

11. Speak to myself with kind and loving words

12. Make time for silence

13. Express my creativity in fun and enjoyable ways

14. Walks in the fresh morning air in my neighborhood

15. Listen to music that moves me

16. Share love and appreciation with others

17. Take hot bubble baths

18. Sit in the shade of an old oak tree on a hot summer day

19. Smile at strangers
    

20. Having an adventure, going some place new

How do you love you? Share with us if you like.

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What’s Going on in Your House is Going on in Your Life

by Karen Rauch Carter

What’s going on in your house is going on in your life. If you understand this concept, you get one of the most basic premises of feng shui. The poor guy doesn’t live in a castle and the king doesn’t live in a cardboard box. The living environment tells a BIG story.

As a feng shui consultant, it gets pretty easy to "read" a person just by taking a look at their home. If there’s clutter, there’s ignored issues like guilt. If there’s uncleanliness, there’s some level of unworthiness. If there’s ten million feng shui cures in one corner, there’s doubt. If there are a lot of skeletons, skulls, etc., there’s a tendency for addiction or unhealthy habits.

The good news is that just being aware of the issue is a great first step. Because once you become aware and then commit to yourself to finding a change (that is if you indeed want to change) then you’ve got providence — AKA energy or chi — working on your behalf. And once the ball is rolling, it gets easier and easier to make the shift.

So, if you can walk through your home with brand new feng shui eyes, you’ll be able to see it - and create a plan of action. That’s what I hoped to accomplish with Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life. If you are having trouble doing this basic "sight-seeing" task, or even if you’ve got a funky space that you have no idea what’s wrong with it, try taking pictures of your spaces and looking at them to try to see what your home is saying....quite often, disassociating from the real space is all you need to be able to see it objectively.

For more info on Karen Rauch Carter, go to her website at: www.fengshuipalace.com

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The One Deadly Sin of Changing Habits

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” ~Woody Allen

Post written by Leo Babauta

Often you’ll read an article called “The Seven Deadly Sins of...” (fill in your topic here). But when it comes to changing habits, there aren’t Seven Deadly Sins.

There’s just one.

You can do a lot of things wrong when you’re trying to form a new habit — just jumping into it without a plan, not having public accountability, not having the right support, etc. But there’s just one thing you can do wrong that will cause the habit change to absolutely fail.

The One Deadly Sin of Habit Change?

Not doing the habit.

If you don’t do it, it won’t become a habit. As obvious as that may sound, too many people fail at this one thing. They start the exercise habit (or flossing habit, or filing their papers habit, or waking early habit) and they do it with enthusiasm for a week or two, and then they stop. For whatever reason — work, or family problems, or other interests taking over.

Life gets in the way, right? Well sure, but if you’re not doing the habit, the habit will never form. If you want to form the habit, you have to do it regularly.

Let’s repeat that, and then talk about how to actually do it: If you want to form the habit, you have to do the habit regularly.

That’s how habits form. You do it one day, then the next, then the next, then the next, right after your habit trigger. Soon, it becomes so ingrained that … it’s a habit.

How To Avoid the Deadly Sin
So it’s easy to state the blindingly obvious, but it’s harder to put it into practice, right?

Sure. So I’m here to help. Some tips for avoiding the One Deadly Sin:

• Just start. Not feeling like doing the habit today? Tell yourself all you have to do is take the 1st step. Usually the 2nd step will follow, but if not, at the very least you got started. And that’s what matters most.

• Do it, no matter how small. Need to exercise but don’t have much energy? Do it for a few minutes at least. Need to meditate? Three minutes will do.

• Do it, no matter how badly. Want to form the habit of blogging? Write a quick and dirty post that takes five minutes of writing, no proofreading or formatting. Quality doesn’t matter when you’re forming habits — doing it matters.

• If you fail, don’t beat yourself up – do it the next day. Let’s be clear: missing one day won’t kill your habit. Feeling discouraged about missing one day, and then missing the next and the next, is what will kill the habit. So let go of the guilt and just get back on your horse. Start again, immediately.

• If you don’t do it the next day, do it the day after. If you miss two days, don’t let yourself miss a third.

• Figure out what’s stopping you. If you find yourself struggling and missing a day or two, think about why. What’s getting in the way? How can you adjust for that?

• Plan ahead. Life gets in the way, but if you know something’s coming up, think ahead and be sure to get your habit in.

• Engineer success. Knock down the barriers and set it up so it’s harder to fail than to actually do the habit. Public accountability is a good way to do that.

In the end, all that matters is doing it. So go do it already.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~Aristotle

by Leo Babauta, from zen habits | smile, breath & go slowly

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