The Gift of Completing

Martha Ringer, productivity coach and author of Complete. Done. Finished., shares her story about what she learned on her recent trip to China. As a master in completing, Martha inspires us to think about the importance of completing in our lives and relationships.

I just returned from three weeks of working in Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong. In Shanghai I had a couple of hours free and went shopping in a local area that is famous for bargains. I connected with two young people (ages 19 and 20) working at a handbag shop. Alex and his sister were my companions for a couple of hours. We had a lot of fun bartering on a purse I was interested in buying. Bartering is still not my favorite thing to do, even though I know items for sale are priced far above market value. However, they made it fun. We laughed and played around. They thought I was 45 years old and that made it even more fun! Alex’s sister started the bargaining with 3000 RMB (the currency of China) as the asking price for the purse I wanted. We ended up at 300 RMB ($40). I reached in my purse for the cash and did not have enough RMB. Alex followed me to the bank, carrying the purse, to make sure to close the sale. (Good completion technique.) As I said goodbye and thanked them, his sister gave me her card and I gave her mine and we hugged. I left feeling joyful.

Alex followed me out and asked if he could assist me with anything else. Another great technique. He gave me a tour of all the stores on three different floors of the building. It seemed like all of the merchants were either friends or family and everyone invited me into their shops. In one shop I was introduced to another sister. I found some beautiful Christmas ornaments and we started my favorite bartering process. His sister and I agreed on 120 RMB when Alex decided to lower it to 100 RMB. To me, given what I had just paid for the purse, I knew the 100 RMB was closer to retail, but I handed her the money anyway as I wanted the ornaments. I noticed she wouldn’t look at me. I realized the action was not in balance so I reached in my wallet and handed her the remaining 20 RMB. I watched her face light up. She looked at me and smiled a very warm smile and wished me a Merry Christmas.

I knew in my heart it was important that both parties came away happy. I am grateful I listened. To me that is taking an action all the way to completion.

When I ask clients if there is anything incomplete in their communications, I often am referring to any communications that have been withheld, something not said. Sometimes it is feedback. Sometimes it is saying out loud what you think in your heart. Hugging someone and telling them you love them might be all that is needed to balance something between you. Recently I did something that a friend of mine did not appreciate and she sent me an email giving me instant feedback saying she did not want anything between us in our friendship. Those are real friends. Take a moment to listen inside and see if there is anything that is not complete in any of your exchanges. Maybe you need to say something to a boss or employee, a vendor, a client, someone in your family, one of your kids, a neighbor or someone who serves you.

Take time to create the balance, giving both yourself and them the gift of completing. Maybe it is as simple as letting someone you work with know how important they are to you. There is always room for more appreciating. At this time of year especially, giving and receiving with balance makes for a joyful holiday. As this year comes to a close, take some time to balance the year 2008. Reflect on what took place this year, what you completed well, what you wished you had done better, what you appreciated about yourself. Then look ahead to 2009 and what you would like to create and receive. Remember to write it down and review it regularly.

Martha Invitations
1. Here is a fun movie about completing sent to me by a client. Notice they need someone to tell them about writing a To Do list using Next Actions. And I might have to add the frog to my eating/body analogy. http://www.eatthatfrogmovie.com

2. Keep listening to make sure what you just finished was taken all the way to completion.

3. Complete each day with an out loud, genuine appreciation for yourself.


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Thanks Martha, for reminding us to appreciate ourselves and others, especially during this busy time of year. You always inspire us to complete our stuff!